


A painting, a thought

by Blankpires



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Other, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 14:18:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18033326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blankpires/pseuds/Blankpires
Summary: Heechul thinks Leeteuk is acting weird.Could be read as plantonic or romantic if you reach enough. It's not finished though maybe I'll finish it one day.





	A painting, a thought

But Heechul knew, every other Super Junior member knew. Leeteuk, Kim Jungsoo wasn't alright. Nobody said anything however, they just didn't know what to say, they've never felt like Leeteuk and it felt like everytime one of them spoke it only made it worse. They knew he was suffering a lot, but it still left Heechul speechless when he saw Leeteuk beg to die.  
"Please, please, please, if there's any god, ANYTHING out there, just, just let me die please I beg." He was completely and utterly broken, there was no better word for it. Heechul didn't say anything, he just went to his room. But that imagine stayed in his mind. Did Leeteuk do that often? How depressed was he truly? He looked so fragile, so absolutely desperate, it was painful to even think of letting him live.  
The next day he looked fine it was almost as if yesterday was nothing. A normal occurence, Heechul noted, I bet that this happens often. That thought freaked him out, that meant at any moment Leeteuk could kill himself right? He looked so happy now, still fragile, and still desperate but none of them knew that. At least not as well as Heechul knew.  
Leeteuk wondered why was Heechul looking at him so much, maybe he was just spacing out? It was weird nonetheless. And if he was doing that because he wanted to say something then he didn't get the chance to say it. Because as soon as Leeteuk went to the kitchen he left to his room. In there he resumed his crying.  
"Nothing's good." He thought about everything wrong in his life. From his childhood to his father. Was there anything good? What was the point of living like this? Happiness was indeed made of a few moments in life and so is sadness, but what if you have more sad moments than happy ones? Are you supposed to live like this?  
Those thoughts were constabtly in his mind, they appeared at the most random moments. He didn't deserve this. He hugged the pillow closer to his face. Fuck this. Fuck this so much.  
He was shaking at this point, he wanted to die. So bad. He felt selfish knowing that he'd rather die and make his friends sad than live. He felt selfish but he couldn't care less. Nobody deserved to live like this. He slowly drifted off to sleep, with his mind full, with his heart heavy.


End file.
